HISTORY OF THE MILITIA

Like a pterodactyl raised among pigeons, Whiskey Militia grew up in the midst of minivans and questionable casseroles. But rather than accept comb-overs and American Idol as a way of life, we bought a kick-ass deck, pierced a few appendages, and began the vigilante lifestyle of the painfully hip hipster with a painfully hip death wish. Boards and bikes (oh, and Radio Flyers, if they're on fire and missing a wheel), became the only ways to travel, and looking lame wasn't an option. Frankly, we've reached a point where our eyes water when we see someone dressed like a douchebag, and sweet dudes in rollerblades give us a rash. So we decided to cover your dermis with some sick clothes and prop you up on the dopest rides. And we decided to do it for dirt cheap. Cheaper than your mom. We know there's not much time to make money when you're this busy being pompous.